Contents

Contents
Introduction | 11
Setting the Stage for Change: What You’re Starting With
Joy IS Possible | 19
The Real Purpose of Self-criticism, Shame, and Other Forms of
Heavy Artillery | 29
The Brain’s Role in Change: why it holds onto pain, and how to
use it to feel better | 47
The Crucial Skills for Resolving Pain and Changing Your Life
The Art and Energy of Breathing | 65
Grounding: what it really is, and how to do it, for real | 85
Centering | 109
BWITSY: A silly name for a crucial concept—Be With It, Then
Soothe Yourself | 125
Don’t stop there! Further Applications
Release Physical Pain | 145
Release Anxiety | 157

Safety, Freedom, and Empowerment
Using Intention to Move from Hurt to Joy (or, how do you make
these techniques work anyway?) | 173
Replacing Self-defeating Beliefs with Life-Affirming Ones | 191
APEPS—Automatic Protective Energy Patterns: finding and
releasing your locked-up energy | 213
Cords and Decording: releasing the burdens and unhealthy
connections | 231
The Physics of Self-Protection: Learning to feel safe around
difficult people | 251
The Right to Say No: Boundaries Are Vital | 267
Moving On: Creating the Life You Really Want Requires
Changing Your Outlook
Value Your Self Highly | 279
Identify and Trust in your Strengths | 291
Turn toward Kindness: Retrain yourself to see the good in
others | 297
Interpret events in a positive light: How you respond to outside
circumstances changes the way you feel about life | 303
Make Joy a Permanent Habit
How Much Joy Can You Tolerate? | 315
Joy Takes Work | 325
The Life You Really Want | 331

Bibliography | 335
Index | 339

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